Relationship Counselling London

RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING LONDON

Couples Therapy is an effective way to transform your relationship. Relationship Counselling is also available for individuals.

Couple Therapist in London

​Relationship counselling can be a powerful and effective way to transform your relationship for the better. I specialise in an evidence-based approach developed in the USA called "Behavioural Couples Therapy".  I enjoy working with couples to overcome difficulties and helping them regain the satisfaction in their relationship that has been lost along the way. Given the central place that relationships play in our everyday lives, the transformation of a relationship has a knock-on effect on general life satisfaction and emotional wellbeing. ​Sometimes I work with individuals (rather than couples) but the focus of the work is on relationships (e.g. break-ups, unproductive repeated patterns of relating, difficulty finding a partner etc.

Reasons why you may benefit from couples counselling

  • You no longer communicate effectively or have stopped talking with each other.

  • You are feeling lonely in your relationship.

  • When faced with a joint decision, you find it hard to resolve differences in how you view the situation.

  • You are struggling to take the next step (e.g. marriage, starting a family).

  • Romance and  affection are largely absent from your relationship.

  • There is a lack of meaningful connection between you.

  • You frequently feel frustrated with one another.

  • You’ve noticed that small things can trigger arguments.

  • You are aware that jealousy is getting in the way of trust.

  • There has been a betrayal/infidelity and this means you feel you cannot fully trust your partner anymore.

  • You have decided to break up, but want to do so amicably.

What does relationship counselling do?

First, we identify where the problems lie in your relationship, and then work together to truly understand what is keeping these difficulties going.  I will help you to clarify goals for the work together. Then, in the coming sessions, I will help you to improve your communication styles, drop unhelpful behaviours and beliefs, increase positive relationship behaviours, overcome barriers and prepare for positive relationship maintenance post -therapy. 

Are relationships supposed to be hard?

Not necessarily. On the one hand, it is normal that there are times within your relationship when you feel less connected with one another, or communicate less well. On the other hand, relationships should not be continually difficult and stressful.  Couples therapy is most effective earlier on (when things start to go wrong) but it is never too late to reach out. 

Why am I so mean to my partner?
Why are they so mean to me?

Everyone is different and every couple is different, so the reasons for conflict can be numerous. However, when conflict arises, or anger flares up, you may be responding in a way that goes way beyond the here and now, to places of old pain from years ago such as past relationships. Because people can react in an automatic/ knee-jerk reaction manner, unhelpful behaviours can interfere greatly with the current relationship. Nonetheless, exploration in couples therapy can lead to positive behavioural changes. 

Are relationships supposed to be hard?

Not necessarily. On the one hand, it is normal that there are times within your relationship when you feel less connected with one another, or communicate less well. On the other hand, relationships should not be continually difficult and stressful.  Couples therapy is most effective earlier on (when things start to go wrong) but it is never too late to reach out. 

Does relationship counselling really work?

If both partners are genuinely ready to make changes and want the relationship to work then yes it has the potentially to work brilliantly. If only one of you is keen on therapy and the other partner is "going along with it" then this is less likely to work. It takes commitment, hard work and a willingness to be both honest and to make yourself vulnerable. Some couples are willing to do this and some couples are not. We can discuss these themes during the assessment phase. 

What should I expect from couples counselling?

The thought of going to couples counselling can be daunting. However, even attending a single session can be a liberating and empowering experience. Frequently, couples have suffered in silence for too long, and it can be a huge relief to open up to someone neutral about the difficulties. 

Book a brief telephone consultation

We can discuss your hopes for therapy

Is counselling good for a relationship?

Certainly. Many couples hit a brick wall when trying to overcome difficulties by themselves. Having a therapist with specialist skills who provides a safe therapeutic space can be just what is needed to kickstart change.   I can help you to re-establish a connection, make lasting changes, and build a stronger relationship foundation.

Do you create a warm atmosphere?
Do you treat each partner equally? 

Absolutely. In my work with couples I always strive to be non-judgemental, warm and objective. I want each partner to feel able to be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings. I do not take sides with either partner. I will gently challenge both of you in different ways to consider alternative ways of thinking or behaving where I feel it will help. I encourage couples to avoid blame (wherever possible) and try and foster honesty, respect, empathy, great communication and a collaborative attitude. I will always ensure that both partners feel heard when discussing sensitive topics.

What should I expect from couples counselling?

The thought of going to couples counselling can be daunting. However, even attending a single session can be a liberating and empowering experience. Frequently, couples have suffered in silence for too long, and it can be a huge relief to open up to someone neutral about the difficulties. 

Is relationship counselling about being more assertive?

Assertiveness means communicating in a way that is equally respectful of yourself and the other person; this looks very different to passive or angry communication. In my experience, assertive communication is frequently missing in relationships that are struggling. I will help you and your partner learn to be more assertive but also more vulnerable with one another (e.g. expressing thoughts and feelings). The aim is to create positive change in your communication dynamics so that you both end up with more of your needs met. You also get to feel more understood by each other, even when you do not agree on a topic. This is a positive foundation for other changes to take place which lead to greater emotional and physical closeness and better couple satisfaction.

Couples Therapy London

The type of therapy I offer (Behavioural Couples Therapy) is connected to CBT which is a well researched and effective type of therapy. It was developed in the USA and has a growing evidence base. 

Relationship Counselling Near Me

  • Are you based in the City of London ?

  • I am based in Harley Street (Marylebone) and many couples travel from the City of London as it is only 4 stops direct by tube from St Paul’s to Oxford Circus.

  • If you live further afield, I can offer relationship counselling via Skype/Zoom.

Couples’ therapy with Dr Joel was a great experience. He is patient, kind, professional and was able to guide a better conversation between my partner and I. I would happily recommend him to anyone, our experience has been life changing. Thanks Dr Joel.

 

Why choose Dr Joel for Relationship Counselling

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17+ years' clinical experience . I am fully insured and accredited/registered with HCPC, BPS and BABCP

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Free initial telephone consultation to discuss your hopes for therapy and check that we are a good match

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Daytime and Evening appointments available both face to face and online via Zoom etc.

Let's Talk

I can usually arrange a call within 48 hours

Accreditation

Relationship Counselling HCPC
BPS Logo Relationship Counselling
Relationship Counselling BABCP
Relationship Counselling London

Are you ready? 

Take the first step towards transforming your relationship for the better.